


The most decorated and the most annoyed

by Walkinrobe



Series: So Dramatic [39]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: F/M, Halloween Costumes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:13:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23592889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Walkinrobe/pseuds/Walkinrobe
Summary: *** This story was originally part of Spooktober. I’m sorry to repost, I want to draw it into the So Dramatic series but I can’t work out how to do that discreetly (that is, without publishing it again). My apologies. If you know the way to do this without clogging up the VM tag let me know! ***Scott would defend Halloween’s honour with his dying breath. This makes Tessa want to punch him in the throat.
Relationships: Scott Moir/Tessa Virtue
Series: So Dramatic [39]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1315028
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28





	The most decorated and the most annoyed

**Author's Note:**

> Why, hello Spooktober readers, it’s very exciting to be part of this Halloween extravaganza. The previous two fics have been exquisitely crafted supernatural stories about love crossing time and space. Um, this chapter is not.  
> I'm a one trick pony. I am staying in my lane and bringing out some old So Dramatic friends to play this Halloween. Feel like dipping into Scott Moir and his search for the perfect Virtue-Moir family Halloween costume? Want unnecessary fluff and cliched family trick or treating excursions? Toddlers dressed as cute dogs? Happy to read a bit of smut and tipsy hallway kissing? Well, right this way please!
> 
> Looking for a return to mythical creatures and magic? Best come back tomorrow when Rookandpawn will knock your socks off.
> 
> An important warning about this chapter: it contains mentions of pregnancy loss.
> 
> Thanks to Rookandpawn and lapetitemort20 for the plot assistance. You guys are bomb digitty. And to The Writers Guild

September 2028

Competitive figure skating demands that you spend an immense amount of time wearing costumes. At a quick calculation, she’d guess that she and Scott have each worn about two hundred and fifty costumes. That’s roughly five hundred costumes that fall into two distinct categories - a whole throng of disappointingly mediocre costumes and an equal number of exceptionally beautiful costumes.

Admittedly, the latter have been the ones she’s chosen herself. Alongside Mathieu, she’s spent countless hours thinking about fabric, cut and color. But it’s not just that, it’s how a costume will look at centre ice, the way it could look different on the TV monitors, the effects of harsh lighting, whether the intricate details will be noticed in a darkened rink and estimating how many quick-changes it could survive.

The perfect costume is an absolute game changer – it gets you into character, sets the mood and enhances the performance. The mediocre costumes, well, they are just..meh.

Perhaps this explains her reticence to wear costumes off the ice. Which is a recurring source of tension in her marriage. Admittedly, it’s playful tension, well, passively aggressively playful tension, because her husband loves one particular type of costume.

And she does not.

*

46 days until Halloween

It’s only mid September and yet every single morning this week Scott’s asked her about what they should wear for Halloween. Their boys - Thomas, James and Oliver - are just as bad. Holy shit, the nagging. It’s Olympic level.

Even Ashlynn is getting in on the act. She had hoped to find an ally in their little lady. Ash is almost two and is way too young to fully comprehend the Halloween palaver. Yet there she was yesterday, asking repeatedly on the way home from the grocery shopping, ‘A dog, pease Mommy. A dog a ‘ween pease Mommy’.

She feels like she’s living in a mad house.

Scott has infected their kids with the Moir’s Halloween-loving gene. She suspects he got it from Alma, she’s always been a fully committed Halloweener. Joe, not so much. Scott and his mom are gale force Halloween advocates. It’s decoration overload, it’s sugar highs and it all ends with overtired kids.

It makes her want to punch him in the throat.

*

29 days until Halloween

It’s a good start to Thursday morning.

Tess is spread out below him as he fucks her, slowly and deliberately, taking his time to make them both feel good. It’s 5:35am and their kids are sound asleep. He’s just licked a delicate line up her breastbone, making Tess groan with gratitude. It makes him smile. He places his mouth to her cheek to whisper, ‘I like listening to that’.

‘Convenient,’ she hums in response, ‘I like making that noise’.

Pulling her upwards, he moves to rest on his shins. Tess comes too and she turns around so she’s facing away from him. He settles her down onto his cock, wrapping one arm around her waist, pressing her warm back to his chest. Keeping them tightly fused together his other hand snakes between her legs, slowly circling her clit, just the way he knows she likes it.

‘This is the best way to start the day,’ she murmurs, parking her hands on his thighs, enabling herself to better control her movements.

‘I want to hear your more of your appreciation,’ he kisses the nape of her neck.

She twists her head to look back at him, ‘Isn’t that only for special occasions, like when we’re in hotels and far away from our sleeping children?’

‘All four of them are out like lights,’ he chuckles, ‘I checked on them before we started. The bedroom door is closed. Please, Sweetheart. I want to hear you’.

Tess gives a delightful, resigned sigh and he knows she’s acquiesced to his request.

He speaks into her ear; retelling her about the first time they fucked this way. That was a million years ago but he can recall it in specific detail. He hasn’t forgotten about the nuances and minutiae, how he felt like the luckiest bastard alive to be fucking Tess. Nowadays, it makes him feel overwhelmingly lucky to have this incredible shared history together. Tess laughs when he tells her he had to recite the alphabet backwards to stop himself coming too early.

The intensity of their movements ramps up a notch and suddenly no one is laughing. Least of all Tess, who is now making delicious, sinful noises. He’d claim that they’re the kind of noises that drive all the blood from his brain to his cock, except he’s pretty sure all the blood is already in his cock, warm and hard, sheathed deep into his wife’s cunt.

Sometimes in the movies, you watch a sex scene and there is shrill moaning and a lot of ‘yes, yes, yes-ing’. That is not what’s going on here. The noise Tess is making is low and fierce. It’s hot as fuck as she edges closer to her orgasm. She is hot as fuck. He wants to shout from a mountaintop that his girl is hot as fuck.

Tess is breathing deeply, and it’s not words coming from her mouth, its just sounds. Sounds full of desperation and want. She pushes herself harder and harder against his cock and he knows she’s aching for the perfect friction against her clit. She moves into the zone where inhibitions are forgotten and she is loud and eager and appreciative of how he’s making her feel.

He loves this part of their relationship, loves that they get to do this together. This woman, she’s the center of his universe, he could not ask for anything more. She’s his soul mate.

When Tess comes she is utterly silent.

*

29 days until Halloween - minus thirty minutes

Their backs have just hit the bed in a puddle of perspiration and panting when Scott starts to speak.

‘Any more thoughts on our Virtue-Moir family Halloween costumes?’ he puffs.

‘Oh my God, are you really harassing me about this right now?’ she kicks his shin in disgust.

‘What do you mean? Asking you about this right now is an intentional strategic move. I’m hoping to catch you in your post orgasmic glow so you’ll agree to anything I suggest,’ he waggles his eyebrows at her and kisses her sweaty brow.

‘Fuckity fuck, I hate Halloween and I hate Halloween costumes. It’s the crappiest part of motherhood,’ she whines at him, stretching out like a starfish, wiggling her fingers and toes.

Scott rolls over and settles on top of her, her legs parting to accommodate him. He’s resting with his elbows on either side of her head, his hands sweeping the clumps of damp hair from her forehead.

‘Listen up,’ he says before placing a swift kiss to her lips.

She rolls her eyes.

‘Dressing up with the kids and I is a completely non-negotiable part of being married to me,’ he gives his sexy smile, the one he uses to get his way, then kisses her cheek.

‘Which you know better than anyone, because you’re the only one married to me and have participated in every single Virtue-Moir family costume since 2019’, he kisses her other cheek.

‘So harden the fuck up Tessa Jane and help me decide on what we’re going to wear,’ he plants a firm kiss on her lips.

‘Motherfucker,’ she groans, ‘I find it so difficult to like you in moments like this. Why do you insist on this family costume bullshit?’

‘You’re hurting my feelings, Virtch,’ he pouts.

She can’t help but kiss his lips. He’s an charming, ridiculous man. She hates Halloween costumes but she loves his enthusiasm for the things that make him happy.

‘Right now the only thing keeping this relationship going is the orgasms,’ she smirks then quickly kisses his mouth again.

‘Not the laughing?’ Scott asks as he kisses her neck.

This makes her smile.

‘Not our four very cute mini-Moirs?’ he kisses her neck again, ‘They’re the best things we’ve ever co-produced’.

This makes her smile too.

‘Not even the dancing?’ he sucks at her collarbone.

He comes up from where he was nestled in her neck and looks her straight in the eye. He grins at her before kissing her nose.

‘I’ll concede the dancing is pretty amazing, even after all these years,’ she grins back.

‘So, will you please help me decide on our costumes?’ he asks.

‘Yes,’ she grits out, ‘Fine. I will help. In fact, I already have the perfect idea’.

‘You do not!’ he scoffs.

‘I do’.

Scott scrambles out from between her legs and sits up. He’s like a puppy. A naked puppy. She gets up off the bed and throws him his pyjama pants.

‘I’m all ears,’ he declares as he tosses her own pyjamas to her across the room.

‘That movie we watched with the kids last night. We can be the six main characters’.

‘Six?’ Scott asks, confused.

‘Ash can be the dog. Being a cute dog is every toddler’s Halloween dream. Plus she’s desperate to be a dog and we already have the costume’.

Scott ponders for a minute. Then he starts nodding, ‘I get to decide which character each of us will be’.

‘Well, obviously I’m the female character, but sure, you can decide which characters you and the boys will be. You also have to source the costumes. I refuse to help in any way, shape or form’.

‘Deal,’ he states as her scoops her up and she wraps her legs around his waist. ‘See how easy that was? I don’t know why you fight me on this kind of stuff,’ he sighs dramatically. ‘And thank you for telling the kids you love Halloween even though you don’t’.

She rolls her eyes again.

‘I’m still only in this relationship for the orgasms,’ she laughs.

*

29 days until Halloween – minus 2 hours

‘Dad, I think our house is haunted,’ nine-year-old Thomas announces out of the blue on their drive to early morning hockey practice.

‘You think what now?’ he replies, coughing up his coffee all over the steering wheel. Shit, that’s gonna be a bitch to clean up.

What the fuck? Is this some kind of hidden camera trickery? It’s his worst nightmare to be on one of those stupid shows.

‘I said, I think our house is haunted’.

‘Yeah mate, I heard you, it’s just the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever said. What? Why?’

‘I heard some weird noises, in the night. It was like a ghost calling out, like you see on TV’, Tom states matter-of-factly.

This is just bat-shit crazy. He can’t fathom what Tom could be talking about. Then he works it out.

‘Ah, got it, that’s just our house being old. It’s creaking caused by the house contracting in the cold night air, then expanding as the sun rises. It’s something all old houses do. I can promise you the house is not haunted,’ he asserts.

‘If you say so,’ Tommy responds with all the incredulity only a pre-teen can muster.

*

29 days until Halloween – minus 3 hours

Their kitchen is the brightest room in the house. In the morning, the light streams through the huge glass doors that overlook their yard. It’s a hardworking kitchen, coping with the comings and goings of six busy people. It’s definitely not one of those kitchens that always has a neat and tidy kitchen countertop. Their countertop is home to a steady stream of empty drink bottles, kids’ artwork, car keys and laptops.

It’s almost time to do the school run. She has shooed Oli and Ash upstairs to clean their teeth and is just thinking about cleaning the breakfast dishes from the countertop when James gets up off his chair and plonks himself in her lap.

‘Mommy, are you and Daddy going skating today?’

‘No baby,’ she kisses James’ forehead, ‘we have some work to do here at home. Daddy and I are going to watch lots of video of our teams skating’.

This kid. He’s such an angel. He is her thoughtful, kindhearted boy. So like his Dad. She can tell how James is feeling by simply looking at him. He doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve - he wears it everywhere.

‘Are you taking us to school today?’ James asks, his sticky hands snaking around her neck.

She squeezes him around his waist and whispers ‘I love you, Jamie’ in his ear before stealthily removing the jam-stained fingers from her neck. She achieves this without James noticing what she’s doing; she never wants her kids to think she doesn’t want their cuddles.

The yearning, the deep-seated desire for their children to feel safe and loved is sometimes too much. Having four little people to nurture into considerate, happy humans is hard and wonderful and fun. So fun. Doing all that with Scott has been the unexpected joy of her life. Scott joked this morning that their kids are the best things they have co-produced. Without doubt.

‘I sure am,’ she kisses his hands before passing him the washcloth she keeps in the kitchen during breakfast. This is not her first sticky fingers rodeo.

‘Can Dad come in the car too, when we go to school?’ her gorgeous middle son asks.

‘Absolutely. I think he’s in the shower. Do you want to go and ask him?’

James stays rooted to the spot, furiously shaking his head in disagreement.

‘Oh, why not, baby?’

‘I’m scared,’ squeaks their seven-year-old.

‘Of Dad?’ she asks slowly. This is an odd turn of events. She cannot discern any reason why James would be scared of Scott. She’s definitely missing something.

‘What about Dad?’ Scott appears in the doorway, his hair wet from his shower.

She can’t help but smile when she sees him. He’s still as good looking as he was ten years ago, more so even, his chest is broader and his face has more character. She never imagined she’d love him this much. He dashes forward, scooping up James, hoisting him onto his shoulders.

Jamie sits up tall, grinning with pride.

‘Mommy wanted me to go upstairs to get you. But I said no’.

Scott raises an eyebrow in her direction, silently telling her that a disobedient James is completely out of the ordinary. She concurs with a head tilt.

‘Daddy, Jamie is scared of something,’ she clarifies.

Scott pulls James forward and rotates his body so it flips over and James lands on his feet on the floor.

‘It’s so cool when you do that to me Dad, it’s just like when you lift Mommy on the ice,’ James gushes. Scott beams and ruffles James’ hair.

‘What ya scared of Jamie?’ Scott asks. He looks to her again and she shrugs her shoulders. She has no idea where this is going.

‘The noise in the night. I think it came from that closet near your bedroom’.

‘What noise?’ she asks, pre-emptive mortification flooding her heart. Oh my God, please don’t let it…

‘The scary noise from last night. Like a monster or ghost growling’ James declares, interrupting her mounting shame.

She and Scott instinctively lock eyes, he gives her a scandalized look and eyebrow waggle. He’s such a motherfucker. This is entirely his fault.

‘Ah, it’s all good. Tom mentioned it to me too,’ Scott slowly nods and bites his lip to stifle a laugh.

Christ on a cruise ship. Tom mentioned the noise too? Nope, this can’t be happening. She’s going to mothering hell where there is no sex and constant Paw Patrol reruns.

‘It’s just the house creaking in the night. Nothing to worry about,’ Scott continues.

James lets out a huge sigh of relief.

‘That’s good. I was worried. It’s almost Halloween so I thought it was something spooky’.

She gathers up James in her arms and kisses his sticky cheek. She really should have got him to wipe his face earlier too.

‘We promise you it’s nothing spooky and I don’t think you’ll hear those noises again,’ she glares at Scott. “Run upstairs, baby, clean you teeth and get dressed please’.

As soon as James leaves the rooms Scott sits at the kitchen table, turns to her and gives an overdramatic gasp, ‘Mommy, you trouble maker’.

‘YOU are in so much fucking trouble, Moir. You told me they were all asleep. I should never have listened to you,’ she glowers.

‘Excuse me, they were asleep. This is not my fault. YOU woke them up with your raucous sex-appreciation symphony. You are scary as fuck. Literally’.

At this, all she can do is laugh so hard she doubles over. Scott starts laughing too. She collapses into his lap. He kisses her and wraps her up tight in his arms.

When she’s finally able to speak, she proclaims, ‘From now on, in this house, it’s silent sex only’.

*

21 days to Halloween

‘Why does my girl look like the cat that got the cream?’ he cautiously asks Tess from their bedroom door. Down the hallway he hears the fall of blocks and a peel of laughter from both Oli and Ash.

Tess is sitting cross-legged on their bed, her hair wrapped in a blue towel. She’s madly typing on her phone.

When she hears his voice she turns to him and her face lights up.

‘You’re back, you’re back!’ she sings before springing off the bed and jumping into his arms.

He can’t help but kiss her. He has no idea why she’s so happy but she’s beyond adorable right now.

‘I only went to get bread. What’d I miss in the whole seventeen minutes I was gone?’

‘I have the BEST news! You and I are going to do something together that you’ve wanted to do for ages,’ Tess shimmies in his arms.

He furrows his brow in question.

‘This better not involve a skating comeback or another baby because I have already ticked both those off my bucket list’.

Tess smooshes his face in her hands and kisses his nose.

‘Not even funny, Moir. We are way too old for those things. And you’re too young for such clichéd jokes,’ she grins.

He mimes placing a stake through his heart.

‘Soooooooooo...’ he drawls.

‘You know that huge Halloween party put on by PJ and Nick’s radio station?’

PJ and Nick are their friends who host Ontario‘s most popular breakfast radio show. Tom goes to school with PJ and Nick’s son, David. There’s a third couple in their little clique, Mel and Justin, their daughter Chloe is in the boys’ class too.

He gasps. Please let Tess say what he thinks she’s about to say.

‘The infamous one, with the big sit down dinner, that’s invitation only? The one we missed last year because Ash got the stomach flu?’

‘The very one,’ Tess nods with wide eyes.

‘Tell me we got invited again this year,’ he implores.

‘We got invited! And so did Mel and Justin’.

Holy shit. Yes! This event has become legendary since it’s inception five years ago. It combines all his favourite things: great food, dancing, wine, friends and Tess. They’ve only been once before and it was amazing. It also means staying overnight in London, which is a very, very attractive thought. He’s never one to knock back the chance to get Tess alone in a hotel room.

There’s only one thing to say.

‘I’ve gotta start thinking about our costumes’.

*

15 days until Halloween.

Opening her eyes she finds Scott on his back, one hand behind his pillow and the other caressing her arm. Her head is on his bicep and her arm is slung low across his torso, her hand snuck under the waistband of his pyjama pants, toasty-warm against his hip.

She doesn’t say anything, just slightly turns her head and places a kiss below his heart. This chest of his, it’s more familiar than her own. She knows every muscle and every ridge, knows exactly where to place her head so she can hear Scott’s heartbeat, dependable and strong in her ear.

‘It is the sixteenth of October,’ he announces in a flat voice.

‘Yeah, my love,’ she exhales ‘I know’.

‘It’s been five years but it still feels sad, eh?’

She turns to looks at his face. She loves that he has never forgotten this anniversary.

Outside the window the sun is rising, just like every other day. To the world, today is just like any other day. Except it’s not. October 16 was the due date of the baby she miscarried between Jamie and Oli.

Over the entirety of the Virtue Moir existence there has been a lot of ups and downs. Most of the downs relate to their skating career. Losing the baby was the most challenging personal tragedy they have grappled with in their relationship. Even now it feels a little raw.

‘I still think about it sometimes,’ Scott confesses as he moves his hand from behind his head to wrap around her body, pulling her so she lies on top of him.

‘I think of that little life we made together and what could have been. Then I stop myself because if we had that baby we wouldn’t have Oliver. And Oli’s perfectly Oli, and perfectly made for our family. I love that kid so much, and I can’t imagine us without him. It’s a weird a conflict between mourning and being so fucking grateful for what we have’.

Scott rubs her back with both his hands. She knows what he’s doing; trying to physically convey everything he’s feeling right now. It makes her want to comfort him, to tell him it’s OK to feel all these things.

‘I think that’s really normal,’ she soothes before kissing his mouth, one side, then the other, finally softly in the middle on his lips. ‘I think about it too. Not as much as I used to, but every time I stop at those traffic lights on the way home from the airport. The ones where Tommy told you I’d been crying while you were away and you worked out we’d lost the baby. I think of how devastated I was in that moment and how sad I was afterwards. How horrible it was to tell our families’. Her voice cracks during that last sentence.

Scott squeezes her tightly and kisses her forehead.

‘I still wish that had you called me when it all started, so I could have come home and we could have been together through everything,’ he mumbles against her cheek.

‘Hey,’ she runs her fingers down his chin. His face is stubbly. He needs to shave but she likes the way it feels under her fingers. It’s gritty and imperfect, just like their life. ‘It’s OK. Please don’t worry about that anymore. Promise me you won’t worry about that anymore. When you got home you took such good care of me’.

‘I’m thankful for everything we’ve done together, Virtch. Even the crappy, sad parts,’ he half smiles with unshed tears.

Her heart clenches. She knows she is fortunate to be with a person who loves her like this. She strokes his brow and mouths ‘I love you so much’ to him before kissing him slowly and sweetly.

Once they pull apart he gives her a wink, a signal that it’s enough sadness for right now. She maneuvers the conversation into less heartbreaking subject matter.

‘Even that time Tom had an allergic reaction on our camping trip in outback Australia and vomited into your mouth?’ she gently teases.

‘For fuck’s sake,’ Scott squeezes her so tightly she squeals, ‘you are the worst wife ever. We promised to not to talk about that again. That NEVER, EVER happened. Right?’

*

Two days before Halloween

He’s not stupid. He knows Tess would rather take a bullet to her foot than participate in their family Halloween costume. But he couldn’t care less as he sees the six of them reflected back in the huge mirror that leans again their bedroom wall.

They look fucking spectacular.

‘I can’t believe you’re making us do a dress rehearsal,’ Tess mutters under her breath.

‘Sweetheart, you know better than anyone how important a tech run is to the success of a show. Stop your whining’.

She mutters again under her breath and all he catches are the words ‘orgasm’ and ‘indebted’.

‘Dad, these costumes are so cool,’ Tom states in awe.

‘I love my hat,’ four-year-old Oliver pipes up from down on the floor where he’s face first at the mirror, trying to take a closer look himself.

James joins too, ‘I don’t want to take this off. Do I get to wear my costume to school?’

Ashlynn barks, then announces, ‘I a doggy! I a doggy a ‘ween’.

Tess catches his eye in the mirror and she breaks out into a huge, genuine smile.

‘You are a doggy Lil’ Lady, the cutest dog we’ve ever seen. Tom is right, these costumes are great. Well done, Daddy’.

Tess’ eyes are soft, he can tell she means what she said. He feels relieved that he’s pulled off the exact group look he wanted. Mark down 2028 as a great year for the Virtue-Moir family Halloween costume.

He claps his hands together, ‘OK, all costumes off and hung up in your closets please. Only two more sleeps until Halloween!’

Tess grabs his hand as he’s shepherding their kids to their rooms. He turns and runs his eyes over her costume. She looks perfect.

‘I wanted to say that I appreciate all the effort you’ve gone to with our costumes, even if I do think Halloween sucks hairy balls’.

He tries to keep a straight face but her choice of words is so ridiculous all he can do is laugh.

‘Thank you. Sweetheart,’ he kisses her cheek. ‘Sucks hairy balls? Where the fuck did you learn to speak like that?’

‘Your brothers,’ she deadpans.

*

Halloween - 3:30pm

It’s widely reported that she and Scott had a tradition of revealing their costumes to each other at the first competitive performance of the season. It’s true, they did. In a similar manner, Scott has a tradition of revealing the Virtue-Moir family costumes to Alma each Halloween. It’s over the top and cringey but also a little bit lovely. Did she mention how much these two love Halloween?

Their kids adore this ritual.

They’re all gathered in the lounge room when Joe escorts Alma in with her hands over her eyes. Scott and the kids countdown from three and then yell ‘NOW!’

Alma opens her eyes.

She is deathly silent.

It’s completely different to last year’s reaction, where she jumped up and down and told them how fabulous they all looked. This time she says nothing. Not one word, just looks at them all.

‘Ma?’ Scott prompts.

Alma bursts into tears. Real tears. Wet tears. Tears like she cried when she held their babies for the first time.

‘Oh, Scott. You’ve outdone yourself,’ she finally sniffles, ‘it’s magnificent’.

Scott gives a fist pump.

She loves her husband and mother-in-law so much. But seriously? Halloween makes them act like absolute lunatics.

*

Halloween – 4pm

Ever since Tom has been at school they‘ve gone trick or treating with PJ and Nick, their kids David and Claire, and Mel and Justin, plus their daughter Chloe.

Alma and Joe are coming this year too.

Everyone is meeting at Casa Moir for a stroll around the local streets. When PJ and Nick arrive and see their costumes PJ shouts ‘There’s no place like home!’ at the top of her lungs.

‘Moirs, holy crap! You guys have knocked it out of the park this year,’ Nick cries.

There are hugs and kisses galore as Scott’s basks in the positive feedback. She fleeting thinks he hasn’t looked this proud since the 2018 Olympic podium but she quickly banishes the thought from her mind.

The kids are running around, screeching in delight and showing off their costumes. She’s gotta admit, they do look good. Scott did a really fabulous job. She’s not surprised, he never does anything by halves.

‘I a dog,’ Ash announces to PJ, ‘I Toto’.

‘I can see that darlin’, you look amazing!’ PJ scoops up Ashy and twirls her around.

‘Mom’s Dorothy, James’ is the Cowardly Lion, Oli’s the Tin-Man and Dad’s the Wizard,’ Tom proudly explains.

‘Which means you’re searching for your brains, eh?’ Nick jokes with Tom.

‘You got it, I’m the Scarecrow,’ laughs Tom, wiggling his straw filled gloves.

While everyone is fawning over the costumes Mel, Justin and Chloe arrive.

‘I knew we shoulda had more than one kid,’ Justin jokes when he sees them.

‘You guys look incredible,’ Mel sighs.

‘Yes, my two accidental pregnancies came in very handy today,’ she grins, kissing Justin’s cheek before moving to wrap Mel up in a huge cuddle.

‘Awesome work, buddy,’ Justin claps Scott on the back.

‘Righto, the clan has gathered. Let’s get cracking on this trick or treating!’ Scott commands.

The weather is beautiful - sunny and just the perfect temperature for an afternoon walk in their costumes. The kids have a ball and the adults swan about with a beer in hand, courtesy of Scott’s excellent preplanning.

They are full of candy and compliments about their Wizard of Oz get-up when they finally stumble up the porch steps. Her Mom is there to greet them; she’s kindly offered to babysit the kids so she and Scott can stay the night in London.

‘You guys look fantastic,’ her Mom says when she sees them. ‘Stay right where you are, I’ll take some photos, the afternoon sun is perfect’.

Kate takes a handful of photos. A couple of them even have the six of them all looking at the camera at the same time. And in one they’re all looking at the camera and smiling. It’s a Halloween miracle!

Eventually, that photo ends up framed on their lounge room wall.

*

Halloween – 7pm

He’s got butterflies in his stomach thinking about this party they’re off to tonight. Butterflies of excitement. He’s not really sure why. Maybe it’s the thought of a kid free night with their best buddies. Or maybe it’s an evening with a four course meal and dancing. Perhaps a combination of the two.

The answer becomes clear when it emerges from their bathroom.

It’s Tess.

What else would it be?

Tonight’s theme is Dynamic Duos and they‘ve decided to go as Bonnie and Clyde from the 1960s film starring Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway.

He’s wearing a grey three-piece suit with a diagonally striped tie and fedora.

Tess is looking smokin’ hot in a chocolate coloured, leather pencil skirt and a loose fitted, soft yellow, round neck t-shirt. A patterned silk scarf is elegantly knotted at her neck and her head is crowned with a brown beret.

Dorothy is definitely not in Kansas anymore.

‘Fuck me, Virtch. You look incredible,’ he groans.

‘Really? I’m so glad. You wanna touch me?’ Tess flirts. She moves right up into his space, placing her hands on his chest. She pats his vest, then smoothes his lapels. He slowly runs his hands down her back, resting his hands on her ass. Her leather skirt feels cold.

‘Yep,’ he breathes. ‘All the touches. Everywhere’.

‘I’d like that,’ she smiles.

From downstairs they hear Kate call out that Mel and Justin have arrived.

‘Be right there,’ Tess shouts.

‘Lots of touching later, I promise,’ he says smacking her backside.

They share a simple kiss on the mouth before he heads downstairs and Tess returns to their bathroom to put on her lipstick.

He spies Mel and Justin talking with Kate as he trots downstairs. They have their backs to him but he can immediately identify the characters they’re portraying.

‘So kind of you to come all this way from Rydell High,’ he laughs.

Mel and Justin spin around, revealing the front of their costumes. They look amazing, they’re Danny and Sandy from the big Grease dance competition scene. Sandy in her off white, full skirted dress and lace caplet. Danny in his black suit, hot pink shirt and matching pocket square. How Mel got her hair in that awesome 50s style in the short time since they wrapped up trick or treating is beyond him.

Tess appears beside him and snakes her arm around his waist.

‘You guys look so good!’ she squeals to Mel and Justin, ‘Danny and Sandy, born today hand jive, baby!’

‘So do you two,’ Justin nods, ‘I love hanging out with 1960s underworld figures. This is gonna be a great night’.

‘Damn straight,’ he fist bumps Justin.

Justin is a solid guy - loves his family, up for laugh, enjoys a beer. There’s a reason why they get on so well. It’s not rocket science - they have a lot in common.

‘What do you think, Mom?’ Tess twirls around for Kate.

‘I think you all look fantastic. Any ideas who PJ and Nick are dressing as?’ Kate asks.

’She was being very tight lipped, which is unlike her,’ Mel offers, ‘it’s going to be mind-blowing, I can tell’.

‘Speak of the devils and we appear! We are here for our big reveal,’ booms PJ’s disembodied voice from behind their front door.

‘Stand ready,’ Nick orders, ‘we think we’ve really nailed this couple’.

They all turn towards the porch and Kate pulls open the front door with a flourish. There is a collective exhalation of swearwords when Nick and PJ are unveiled. Quickly followed by hysterical laughter.

‘You didn’t!’ shrieks Mel.

‘You cheeky assholes,’ he chastises.

There are Nick and PJ, proudly standing before them, chests puffed out, noses to the sky, wearing immaculately recreated Virtue-Moir 2018 Olympics free dance costumes.

‘Oh my God,’ cries Tess, ‘this is the BEST thing I’ve ever seen, your attention to detail in incredible’. She steps forward and runs her hand across the beading on PJ’s dress.

Tess turns back and mouths ‘Holy shit’ to him. He raises an eyebrow in reply.

‘You thinking what I’m thinking?’ he whispers while he bumps her arm with his elbow.

‘Always,’ she nods.

‘Give me two secs’, he says to the group.

He runs up the stairs, grabs what he’s looking for from a draw in their bedroom and jogs back down the stairs.

‘Tess and I think you need this to finish off your costume,’ he says as he hands a black velvet box to Nick.

Nick looks confused. Then the realisation of what he’s holding dawns on him, even before he opens the box.

‘Nah guys, we couldn’t’.

Nick passes the box to PJ who flips open the lid to reveal their Pyeongchang gold medals.

‘Ohhhhhhhhh,’ she gasps. ‘No, no’.

‘Yeah, of course you can. Besides they’re just the ones from the team event,’ he jokes.

Kate interrupts.

‘You guys better head off, otherwise you’ll miss the pre-dinner drinks,’ she warns.

They gather their goods and chattels so they can pack them in the back of Tess’ car. He says a silent prayer of thanks that she got it detailed this week and it’s not full of apple cores and empty coffee cups. He’s already taken out the car seats in anticipation of using their people mover to move more grown up passengers than usual.

The kids run in from the kitchen to say goodbye. There are kisses, cuddles and promises to be good coming from all directions.

‘Alright you lot, we’ll see you at lunchtime tomorrow’ he nuzzles Ashy’s neck, she smells like her orange scented bubble bath. His longed for baby girl, she completes their family so beautifully.

‘Love do, Daddy’ Ash chirps.

‘Love you too, Lil’ Lady,’ he bops her nose.

‘Thanks so much for staying with our babies, Mom,’ Tess kisses Kate’s cheek.

‘Yes, thanks Kate, you are my favourite mother-in-law,’ he kisses her other cheek, handing off Ashlynn to her grandmother.

‘Have an enjoyable night,’ Kate calls as they walk out the door to the car.

He grabs Tess’ hand and brings it to his lips. ‘Let’s go have some fun, Tessa Jane,’ he winks to his partner in crime.

*

Halloween – 8pm

The cocktails at pre-dinner drinks are strong. She’s had two and is feeling tipsy. It feels nice.

It almost feels nice enough to ignore the bore of a man who currently monopolising her attention. Almost.

Angus is a new producer on Nick and PJ’s radio show. Young and brash and full of himself. He’s come over from England, armed with self-proclaimed good ideas and a bucket load of relevant experience. He’s gonna take their radio show from number one in Ontario to number one in Canada. She knows all this because he told her. Repeatedly.

Boring as batshit Angus also has no idea who she is. He’s not asked her one question about herself, skating or Scott. Not even her name. She usually loves it when people don’t recognise her. She and Scott are still mildly famous, even ten years post Pyeongchang.

In this case it’s clear he’s no idea that she’s one half of Virtue Moir by the highly unsubtle way Angus is hitting on her. It’s almost like he’s trying to club her over the head with an itemised account of his best qualities, hoping he’ll stun her into thinking what a catch he’d be.

The swarm of slightly intoxicated, animated people has made the room warm. Scott had disappeared to put their jackets at their table and she can see he’s got caught up talking to some hockey players.

She finally catches his eye and plays with her earring, setting off her time-honored signal that she needs rescuing. He gives a nod and immediately excuses himself. When Scott’s about ten paces away Nick taps Angus on the shoulder.

‘Well, thanks for the chat,’ Angus smiles. She’s gotta confess, he is cute in a boyish way.

‘You too,’ she replies.

‘I look forward to speaking again tonight. Um...,’ he has the audacity to wink at her as his drawn out sentence conveys an invitation to give her name.

‘Tessa, Tessa Virtue’ she states.

Not even an ounce of recognition flashes across his face. Nope, he has no idea who she is.

As Angus turns his back she feels her husband’s arms encircle her waist and his chin rest on her shoulder.

‘You needed rescuing, my lady?’

‘Yes, that guy is an idiot. A young, ignorant idiot, so I’ll cut him some slack. He has an over abundance of self-confidence and has no idea who we are’.

Scott looks momentarily confused. Then he gets it.

‘You never care that people... ahhhhh... he was hitting on you! Fuck yeah. My girl’s still got it!’ Scott high-fives her.

‘Oh my God. You’re tipsy,’ she accuses him.

The irony. So is she. She knows he can tell too.

‘Yep,’ he nods ‘but I’m going to hold myself in this pattern,’ he places his mouth to her ear, ‘because I have big plans for us later this evening’.

‘Don’t disappoint me, Moir’.

*  
Halloween 8:15pm

When they get to their table it takes him a sec to realise something’s amiss. He had thought he and Tess were seated together, in fact he knows they were because he threw his jacket on the back of his chair and placed Tess’ jacket on the back of hers. The chairs were next to each other.

Now somebody named ‘Angus Reid’ is sitting between them.

He glances at Tess and she mouths ‘The Idiot’ to him.

Just as he reaches over to swap back the place cards, a hand is placed on his bicep.

‘Do you mind, I’d love to sit next to Tessa,’ a posh sounding, English-accented voice drips from a head of exquisitely manicured facial hair.

‘Yeah buddy, I do,’ he glances down at the hand on his arm, Angus quickly retracts it. ‘I think they seated Tessa and I together for a particular reason’. He aimed for a jovial delivery but thinks he missed the mark and strayed into gruff. He doesn’t really care.

Angus might be an ignorant young buck but he completely gets why Angus thinks his wife is worth sitting next to. He’s gonna have a bit of harmless fun with this guy. He extends his hand towards Angus and gives his best media smile, ‘Scott Moir, great to meet you’.

‘Angus Reid, I’ve been brought in to help raise the profile of PJ and Nick’s radio show’.

He steals a glance at Nick, who is seated on Tess’s right. He sees Tess quickly whisper something in Nick’s ear before Nick gives a wicked smile and a very subtle eye roll. Clearly there are a few of them at the table thinking Angus is an idiot.

Without giving Angus the chance to object any further he swaps the name cards, returns his jacket to his own chair and sits down on Tess‘ left.

Tess pours two glasses of white wine and passes him one.

Bottoms up.

‘So Scott, what did you do for a crust?’ Angus prompts, taking his original seat. They’re sitting at a table of eight. There is a vacant chair next to Angus but he can’t quite make out the name on the place card.

‘I’m a figure skating coach. And I dabble in a bit of sports commentary. What do you think of our Canadian sports, Angus? You a hockey fan?’

He feels Tess’ hand creep onto his leg, she gives a small squeeze, which he knows is a ‘Be on your best behavior please’ squeeze. He pats her hand, conveying an ‘It’s all good, I will be’ in response.

‘No, I’m a tennis fan. Not really interested in winter sports. Definitely not a fan of figure skating, no offence, it baffles me how a competitive sport can be judged rather than won on merit. But I can certainly appreciate the skill demanded in a game of hockey’.

Everyone at the table looks up expectantly as they cotton on to the fact that Angus has no idea that he and Tess were ice dancers or married. Beside him he feels Tess bristle, then she leans across him and aims fire, ‘Angus, the judging of figure skating is actually extremely complex. There are artistic and technical requirements. It’s completely merit based’.

‘Well, perhaps we could go to a competition together one time Tessa, you could explain it to me’, Angus flirts.

A stunned Mel drops her butter knife onto her plate. ‘My apologies,’ she gushes, ‘carry on Angus, I didn’t mean to interrupt you asking Tess out on a date’.

PJ snorts.

Angus gives Tess a fond smile. He’d almost feel sorry for Angus if he wasn’t blatantly hitting on his wife. He squeezes Tess’ thigh again under the table.

’What do you do Tess?’ Angus asks in a semi-patronizing voice

’I also coach figure skating,’ she takes a big sip of her wine. ‘But at the moment I primarily look after four of the world’s cutest kids’.

‘So you’re a nanny! How lovely. Children are our future and all that. Did you know PJ and Nick have kids. Do you coach children?’

‘Oh, for fuck’s sake,’ Nick groans under his breath. PJ quickly places her hand on Nick’s arm. She is living for the speed this potential train wreck is gathering. And waiting for the inevitable crash.

Tess looks a little at sea.

‘Um, yes, I do know that PJ and Nick have kids. And no, I don’t coach kids, they’re actually....’ Tess says slowly.

Nick decides to step in and right the ship.

‘Angus, Tess is being modest. She coaches senior level athletes, her teams compete internationally,’

Angus looks at Nick like he has spoken in Martian. Nick forsakes any hope of getting Angus on the right page and abandons ship. ’So, who are you dressed as tonight? Is Halloween a big thing in the UK?’

Angus laughs, he sounds a little nervous. Or is it self-righteous. Shit, this guy is a pain in the ass.

‘I don’t do costumes. I’m not a fan of Halloween costumes in particular. I think Halloween is an over-commercialised, faux holiday that has suckered in gullible consumers’.

There is silence as the table digests Angus’ attack on Halloween. Who the fuck is this guy? He’s outraged on behalf of Halloween. Just as he’s about to defend Halloween’s honour Justin jumps in.

‘Tess isn’t a big fan of Halloween either,’ he adds from across the table.

‘That’s something you two have in common,’ PJ evilly encourages.

Angus gives Tess an even fonder smile. Alright, that’s it. He’s reaching his jealous husband limit. He stretches out for his wine. He sees the exact moment Angus spies his wedding ring. It’s the moment Angus gives a haughty little smirk.

‘What about you, Scott? Did you and your WIFE enjoy Halloween? Any rug rats to dress up today?’

‘Actually, my wife isn’t a big Halloween fan,’ he turns to Tess and winks. ‘But she’s a fantastic Mom so she pretends for our kids. We and our four kids dressed up as characters from the Wizard Of Oz. It’s our tradition to go trick or treating with PJ, Nick, Mel and Justin.

Tess eyes go soft and she rests her head on his shoulder. He kisses her hair.

Everyone at table waits for the penny to drop.

It doesn’t.

‘That sounds like it was fun,’ Angus replies. Disingenuously.

Maybe it’s the wine but he’s starting to feel sorry for Angus. He’s about to tell Angus that he is, in fact, married to Tess when Angus calls across the table to Nick.

‘Nick, I’ve been meaning to ask you, who are you supposed to be?’

‘Angus, you are officially the most ignorant person at this event,’ PJ sniggers.

‘What?’ he says, startled.

At that moment, the eighth guest arrives at their table. It’s the radio station’s promotions manager, Rebecca Vardy, he and Tess have met her a couple of times.

‘PJ and Nick, your costumes! That is beyond fantastic,’ she screeches, plopping herself between Justin and Angus. Rebecca takes one look at him and Tess and her face betrays her thoughts – you can see her promotional brain whir to life and she has a publicity idea.

‘You’re dressed as Canada’s sweethearts, while you are sitting across from Canada’s sweethearts. I need photos. Lots of photos’.

Angus looks confused, ‘Why are Justin and Mel Canada’s sweethearts?’

PJ snorts again.

‘Holy shit, are they your real Olympic gold medals?’ Rebecca yelps, looking to Tess.

‘Uhuh,’ Tess confirms.

‘You have gold medals?’ Angus probes Tess, ‘That’s amazing. What for?’

‘This is like one of those never ending, crappy comedy show skits,’ laughs Mel, ‘but I am here for it. Every last, tacky moment’.

‘Angus. You’re an ignorant, Pommy twat,’ Rebecca laughs.

‘It’s Tess and Scott who are Canadian royalty, they’re the most decorated Olympics figure skaters of all time. All of Canada loves them,’ Nick states.

‘Most decorated?’ Angus questions.

‘Medals, dumb-ass,’ PJ says as she waves the medal hanging around her neck ‘they have the most Olympic medals of any figure skaters in the history of the world’.

He suspects that PJ has crossed the drunk-line, and it’s now waaaaaaaay behind her. He can’t judge her, he’s had two glass of wine since he sat down, and so he’s standing with her shoulder to shoulder.

‘You and Scott skate together? How many medals?’ Angus asks.

‘Five, two silver and three gold,’ Mel adds.

‘Well, one silver and one gold were from team events, so that helped with the count…’ he feels compelled to clarify with Angus.

‘We were ice dancers,’ Tess offers, ‘we went to the 2010, 2014 and 2018 Olympics’

‘Wow, were you still working as a nanny while you trained?’

Tess looks genuinely baffled. Her mouth makes that endearing ‘O’ shape that it does when she’s confused.

‘We were full time athletes. No other jobs. We retired in 2019,’

‘That’s so nice that you both stayed in contact, do you two see each other often?’ Angus enquires of Tess.

He’s starting to genuinely worry about Angus, perhaps he has a learning difficulty. He is exactly like Andrew Poje, absolutely no ability to pick up social cues.

‘We see each other most mornings, when we wake up laying next to each other,’ Tess states matter-of-factly.

PJ and Mel laugh so hard they give that high pitched, crying noise they’re prone to make when they find something hysterical. Nick drops his head to the table. Justin spits his red wine onto his plate.

He wraps his arm around his wife, holy shit, she’s funny as fuck sometimes.

Angus looked puzzled. Tess spells it out.

‘Scott is my husband. The four cute kids I referred to earlier are the same four kids that Scott referred to in his story. We all dressed up as characters from the Wizard of Oz today. Our eldest son goes to school with PJ and Nick son’s and Mel and Justin’s’ daughter. Scott and I work together coaching elite ice dance teams’.

Angus pauses for moment. All eyes are on him as he processes everything Tess said. Finally, he speaks.

‘OK, I think that all makes sense. But how are you related to Canadian royalty?’

*

Halloween 11.45pm

‘How many hotel hallways do you think we’ve walked down together?’ Scott asks as she’s snuggled under his arm, the two of them meandering out of the hotel elevator toward their room.

She ponders for a moment, lacing their fingers together, ‘Hundreds, definitely hundreds. You?’

‘Yeah, that sounds about right. How many hotel hallways do you think we’ve kissed in, propped up against the wall, like this…’ Scott leans her against the wall and plants a chaste kiss on her mouth.

‘Not many,’ she retorts. Scott looks puzzled. ‘Not many because that kiss was way more G-rated than any of our other hallway kissing. Fire up, Moir! I want hotel management banging on the door at 3am asking us if we’ve heard the spooky groaning that the surrounding rooms reported to them’.

His eyebrows almost reach his hairline before he bursts out laughing. He picks her up and throws her over his shoulder. She’d protest but she’s enjoying it too much.

‘Careful what you wish for, Virtch’.

‘Walk faster, my love, we only have 9 hours until checkout. In that time I want an orgasm, a post-orgasm movie and at least 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep’.

He squeezes her ass before kissing her waist where it’s folded across his body.

‘Do you think your Mom got the kids off to sleep OK?’ he questions, placing her back on firm ground and holding his hand out for their room key.

‘Absolutely. You worried?’ She can’t find the room key, but it’s definitely here somewhere. She ferrets around in her bag trying to find it.

‘Not really, just thinking about our little people. Kinda miss them’.

She unearths the key and passes it him. She misses their kids too. But she’s glad for this time with him.

‘Wait,’ she places her hand on Scott’s. He looks at her expectantly. Expectantly and lovingly. She loves him too. So much.

‘I want to say thank you’.

‘What for Sweetheart?’

He steps forward and gathers her to his chest.

‘For walking me to my hotel room all those years ago at the 2016 Autumn Classic, for kissing my cheek and depositing me in my room. But then coming back and starting this great, big adventure with me’.

She kisses him. And it’s definitely not G-rated.

He sighs.

‘Best decision I ever made’.


End file.
